As the mile markers pass by

The mile markers flashed by me as I worked my way north from an outdoor show in the Catskill Mountains last weekend. While making a lane change I caught a glimpse of myself in the rear view mirror. In that split second my reflection revealed to me a picture of a person that I wasn’t quite ready to see. I saw the specks of gray that have started to settle into my facial scruff. A hairline that just keeps getting thinner and thinner. Eyes that don’t look quite as wild as they used to. All of that was expected. What was different was I had glanced into the eyes of a father who’s first born son was graduating from high school next week. At that moment something must have stirred up some dust in the truck because my eyes started to water pretty bad. It was bad enough that I decided to make a pit stop to get some gas and something to drink. When I pulled up to the pump I noticed that it was just about the time my son usually heads in to work. I sent him the same text I usually send him when I know he's about to head out in his car. Be smart, Be safe, I Love you was tapped out onto my phone screen. He sent back his usual Love you too. I filled up with gas and got back on the highway. The rest of the trip was spent reminiscing about the last 18 years of my life. At times it seemed like I would never be at this point but looking back it went by way too fast. I started pondering the questions I’m guessing most parents do. Have I done enough for him? Is he really ready to head off to college? Am I ready for him to take off to college? Have I taught him everything that I should have? Have I spent enough time with him? All of these questions and concerns swirled around in my mind. These questions and concerns turned into to reminiscing about the last 18 years of our lives together. My mind's eye went all the way back to the balcony of our second story apartment in Florida. The steamy Florida sun was shining on us as the palm trees swayed in the salty breeze. He sat strapped into his little bouncy chair sleeping. I sat with him for over an hour reading out loud to him a Field and Stream magazine. The topic of the articles were not important, what was important to me was that he was outside and I was attempting to instill a love for the outdoors at only a few days old. I remembered the decision to move back north so my baby boy could explore the wilderness and enjoy the four seasons the way I did. Images of pushing him around our neighborhood and his little finger pointing out the birds and squirrels came to me. His first time walking the trails at the nature center while still in diapers. I reminisced about that stupid rocket fishing rod he had to have. On the first cast he caught a perch and managed to create the world's largest rats nest in the line. The disappointment in his eyes when I told him it might be broken. I spent the next half hour untangling it only to find that he was more interested in throwing rocks into the water than fishing. Our first hike up Azure Mountain and the days spent swimming and boating at Lake Titus flooded me. Day trips to hunting camp carrying a toy gun turned into over nights and carrying a .22 then into walking off on his own with a deer rifle slung over his shoulder.

I still remember the day that he decided it was more important to try and make a rock wall in the middle of the woods during the rut than it was to sit still and watch for deer. I thought about that day in sixth grade when I pulled him out of school early and told him we were going fishing instead of being in school. About 20 minutes down the road he asked “Where are we going fishing”? When I told him “Florida” he didn’t believe me until we made it to the airport.

The one winter we decided to dedicate to downhill skiing popped into my head. Chair lift conversations and racing down the mountain made for some very special memories.

Cold fingers and toes in a November snow storm turned into a small fire back in the woods was a magical moment during one hunting season. His first youth turkey hunt where he shot his fist turkey created a moment neither one of us will ever forget.

Bass fishing the Grasse river was one of our favorite things to do when he was younger. I giggled to myself while replaying a fishing exclusion in Florida. I still remember him laughing as the large boat rocked and rolled in the ocean swells. He thought it was hysterical that people were puking over the side as we continued to fish. Yes we had a blast together as he was growing up. Mixed into all of these moments in time were youth wrestling and football.

Plays and concerts. As he grew older, that little boy grew into a young man in the blink of an eye. Time at the gym, on the field, and on the mat takes up a lot of his free time now. His school and work ethic convince me that he is on the right path.

I am very proud of the young man he has become and I am excited to see what comes next in his life but I have to say that no matter how ready he thinks he is, I’m not sure I am ready. Yes, as the mile marks flashed by me, so did the last 18 years of my life.

I think that all of us parents constantly question ourselves when it comes to raising our kids. I know I’ve spent hours awake at night questioning some of the decisions I have made. All we want is what is best for our kids. But, at the end of the day the most important thing we can give our children are memories. Give them life experiences that will stick with them forever. I love hearing my kids saying “Remember that time……”. We can buy them the newest, latest and greatest toys and computers, but 20 years from now those things won’t matter. What will matter to them and you are the fun and exciting moments spent together. I encourage any parent with a child of any age to get outdoors and do something with them. These are the things they won’t forget. There will come a day when all you have are videos and pictures of your time together. Make the most of it. When the time comes and you ask yourself did I do enough with them make sure you have no regrets. I still wish there were a few more things I could have done with my son but I can honestly say he is not lacking in the memories department. Chapter 1 of my life with my son may be coming to an end but I’m excited to start chapter 2. I have a feeling it might be even better.

Aaron Hardy

Northern NY Adventures

“Make Life an Adventure”